1. The 5 rules of footwear

    1. Men should never have tassels on their shoes.
    2. Running shoes should only be worn when exercising (I hope you’re listening America).
    3. Sandals should only be worn in times of hot weather and never with socks.
    4. Only Hugh Hefner wears slippers and still gets laid.
    5. Most importantly: Never, ever (I can’t stress this enough) wear black shiny shoes with blue jeans, you’ll look like my dad.